What car had the worst federal bumpers?

". ." (xllx)
01/21/2014 at 16:05 • Filed to: show us

Bumper regulations in the USA have ruined many a car, but which one got the worst treatment? Post what you think are the worst federal bumpers of all time, whether it's because they ruined what was a very pretty car outside of North America, or maybe they just look bad by themselves.

Here are a few examples I could think of (i think the Khamsin got treated the worst):

DISCUSSION (35)

CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) > . .
01/21/2014 at 16:09

Kinja'd!!!

Saab sonnett 3.

505Turbeaux > . .
01/21/2014 at 16:11

Mercedes 6.9, and that whole w116 series. from

Kinja'd!!!

stuttgartobsessed > . .
01/21/2014 at 16:14

The thing I hate most about my Alfa are the ugly crash bumpers. Though I have to say, the rear one (I guess the front would too) can double as a bench for pick nicks. And the front completely ruins the classic Alfa grill. It's terrible.

Textured Soy Protein > . .
01/21/2014 at 16:24

Kinja'd!!!

The McLaren F1 which McLaren never bothered to build to US safety regulations, was federalized by a company called Ameritech. They added these ugly bumpers and headlight housings, which allowed the cars to be registered in the US. I'm pretty sure all of the cars imported this way were promptly returned to their stock parts as soon as the paperwork was squared away.

There's actually one of the original Ameritech kits for sale on eBay right now.

. . > Textured Soy Protein
01/21/2014 at 16:26

I'm not convinced that kit will, or even should sell. Good find!

AMC/Renauledge > . .
01/21/2014 at 16:27

The Maserati Khamsin was definitely one of the worst. They relocated the excellent "floating" taillights and stuck that terrible rear bumper on.

Kinja'd!!!

I think the MGB and Midget were worse, though. They were much more prolific, and their horrible, hideous bumpers didn't just affect American models. They affected the cars worldwide.

Kinja'd!!!

And then there was the Fiat X1/9:

Kinja'd!!!

Klaus Schmoll > . .
01/21/2014 at 16:29

From this:

Kinja'd!!!

to this:

Kinja'd!!!

Not to mention that they raised the ride height by putting it on rubber blocks.

. . > AMC/Renauledge
01/21/2014 at 16:30

The US bumpers spreading to MGs on other markets was a shame, even though I'm not a fan of those cars. That thing on the Fiat just looks like a bit of scaffolding, but at least it was limited to one side of the Atlantic..

. . > Klaus Schmoll
01/21/2014 at 16:31

You know, nothing improves safety like putting rubber blocks in the suspension!

EL_ULY > Textured Soy Protein
01/21/2014 at 16:35

what the? that's horrid

Klaus Schmoll > . .
01/21/2014 at 16:36

Shit, I just noticed that you can see the raise in ride height in those two pictures. It's huuuge!

. . > Klaus Schmoll
01/21/2014 at 16:38

Maybe it was an attempt to appeal to the bro truck crowd?

Ferrero1911 > Klaus Schmoll
01/21/2014 at 16:40

Came here to post this. It's always what I think of when I think of bad US bumpers.

Klaus Schmoll > Ferrero1911
01/21/2014 at 16:47

The sad part is that they didn't have the funds to leave the models for other markets as is. So US legislation spoiled the car for the rest of the world as well.

Ferrero1911 > Klaus Schmoll
01/21/2014 at 16:50

That is sad.

Victorious Secret > . .
01/21/2014 at 16:54

Kinja'd!!!

Someone protect $kay from this travesty.

TheJWT > Textured Soy Protein
01/21/2014 at 16:56

I'm pretty sure they removed the rear seats, too.

Somethingwittyer likes noisy > Klaus Schmoll
01/21/2014 at 16:58

Winer.

RazoE > . .
01/21/2014 at 17:28

Kinja'd!!!

They even swapped the tail lights for the glass section if I remember correctly (tails over the glass, not glass over tails as pictured)

. . > RazoE
01/21/2014 at 17:29

Yup.

Kinja'd!!!

That's how the Khamsin should look.

Wildstar > . .
01/21/2014 at 17:36

The Porsches and Jags weren't quite so bad. You could easily unbolt those appendages. Most the rest, you were stuck with. The MGs were the absolute worst. Completely ruined the cars.

trynthink > . .
01/21/2014 at 17:42

There are ton of cars that were ruined by federalized bumpers (I didn't realize those black things on the MGB were federal bumpers, I just assumed that it was a bad facelift effort.) And I think it's really tragic that some of the best looking efforts from Europe had those bumpers added on that looked so terrible. I kind of wish there were an exemption for low-volume cars in particular (I actually think that the US should generally have more exemptions for high price, low-volume cars, but I digress)

At the same time, I really wish bumpers were better today. I think with modern computer modeling and simulation capabilities, we could make 5 mph bumpers that looked great/the same, didn't weigh much more (< 100 lbs/car) and saved a lot of insurance money on dumb parking lot accidents. See, e.g.:

Kinja'd!!!

I had someone back into my car in a parking lot (front left corner) going maybe 3 mph. Since it was the corner, there's no bumper bar or crash pad underneath, so the bumper cover gave way and that little tap did over $2,000 damage to the headlight/bracket and front fender. So dumb! I should have been able to get out, check, say hello to the other driver, and then pull away, not spend two weeks driving a rented Elantra.